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By: Joshua

Date: 23-12-11

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'Luther, what are you doing?'
'Hang on.'
He stood across the table from her, papers in both hands. 'Here's my idea,' he said proudly. 'And it's brilliant.'
'Why am I nervous?'
He unfolded a spreadsheet, and began pointing. 'Here, my dear, is what we did last Christmas. Six thousand, one hundred dollars we spent on Christmas. Six thousand, one hundred dollars MBT Sandals .'
'I heard you the first time.'
'And precious little to show for it. The vast majority of it down the drain. Wasted. And that, of course, does not include my time, your time, the traffic, stress, worry, bickering, ill-will, sleep loss-all the wonderful things that we pour into the holiday season.'
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Luther dashed into the den, hit the Play button, waited for the first notes, adjusted the volume, then dashed back to the kitchen where Nora was inspecting a brochure.
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'You were island hopping.'
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'What's the catch?'
'The catch is simple. We don't do Christmas. We save the money, spend it on ourselves for once. Not a dime on food we won't eat or clothes we won't wear or gifts no one needs. Not one red cent. It's a boycott, Nora, a complete boycott of Christmas.'
'Sounds awful.'
'No, it's wonderful. And it's just for one year. Let's take a break. Blair's not here. She'll be back next year and we can jump back into the Christmas chaos, if that's what you want. Come on, Nora, please. We skip Christmas, save the money, and go splash in the Caribbean for ten days MBT UK .'
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The deal was closed in bed, with the television on but muted, with magazines scattered over the sheets, all unread, with the brochures not Far away on the night table. Luther was scanning a financial newspaper but seeing little. Nora had a paperback but the pages weren't turning.
The deal breaker had been their charitable giving. She simply refused to forgo it, or skip it, as Luther insisted on saying. She had reluctantly agreed to buy no gifts. She also wept at the thought of no tree, though Luther had mercilessly driven home the point that they yelled at each other every Christmas when they decorated the damned thing. And no Frosty on the roof ? When every house on the street would have one Tory Burch Flip Flops ? Which brought up the issue of public ridicule. Wouldn't they be scorned for ignoring Christmas?
So what, Luther had replied over and over. Their friends and neighbors might disapprove at first, but secretly they would burn with envy. Ten days in the Caribbean, Nora, he kept telling her. Their friends and neighbors won't be laughing when they're shoveling snow, will they? No jeers from the spectators when we're roasting in the sun and they're bloated on turkey and dressing. No smirks when we return thin and tanned and completely unafraid of going to the mailbox.
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But after a tense, silent hour, Luther kicked off the sheets and yanked off the wool socks and said, 'All right. Let's match last year's charitable gifts, but not a penny more.'
She flung her paperback and went for his neck. They embraced, kissed, then she reached for the brochures.

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